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Living in the Now

An architect friend of ours, Marina Chkheidze, was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in June. In August she was gone. I wonder what she felt once she knew there was no time and possibly no strength at all left to do anything. Perhaps that was the reason she was rushing to get it over with. No patience left, no desire to hang on.

I just got a “project of a lifetime.” It’s a small in-home childcare. Years ago, when my kids were little, I specialized in design for children and dreamt of doing a school. Never got a chance or was selected. Until now, that is. An empty nester, I have all the time in the world to devote to it.

I am getting better at living in the now. These days, I start my day by doing a particular meditation routine called Falun Dafa. Thanks to a good environment and my husband, an experienced teacher, with every practice I feel more confident and able to focus. At first, I was really distracted. Losing concentration is still an issue, but slowly it’s getting better. Regardless, I keep at it —  not too much of a commitment, just a 15-minute routine. Consistent, brief, daily sessions eventually garner good results.

I wish I knew how to achieve a state of serenity and self-reflection. It would be nice. I was just talking to my daughter about that. Is it even attainable? I would particularly like to know how to experience yuan bei (Chinese) – a sense of complete and perfect accomplishment even while dealing with inhibiting rejection.

Last weekend was spent with the family. It’s been a long time since we were all together — in one place. Long anticipated, finally a blissful opportunity of revisiting favorite spots and living in the moment, without any concern for the past or the future. It’s up to us to bask in the glory of it, to savor every second while practicing mindfulness — concentrating on each other.